Tag Archive | my story

Giving in to Good Food

Last night Hubby and I worked together to make meatloaf. nom nom 🙂 Healthy stuff! Without the crackers or oatmeal. Granted I had half a potato with it but that is much better than diving into the forbidden cake. Full tummy and proud of myself. 😀

I remember when I was a kid. I’d be going nuts before dinner from the delicious smells. I would go to the kitchen and ask my grandma for some food and she would reach up to the top shelf and hand me a bag of bonbons. I  would run to my parents room so that my brothers and sisters wouldn’t steal it from me and eat 2 or 3 of them or until I wasn’t starving anymore. Stupid, right? If my mom had been there, she would have given me half an apple or a piece of cheese.

I went hungry too long, ate the wrong thing. The end result is that I couldn’t eat dinner. I promised myself once I grew up that I would never go hungry again. With short lapses when I went to college, I stuck to that promise until recently.

So why do I let myself go hungry now? I get busy. I’m chatting with friends. I wait to do my work until it is too late to eat before I get my work done or I don’t want to do physical work on a full stomach. So I am forming a goal.

Goal #1 ~ Fill myself up with good food when I’m hungry or at meal time. Work and chat comes second.

With that I’ll go have a nice filling dinner. 🙂

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Day One, an Intro

I have been thin all my life until sometime after I had my 3rd child. I was working as a nurse at the time and patients gave me chocolates instead of a tip. Fool that I was, I ate them and got addicted to sugar.

After that I went into real estate which always had boxes of doughnuts in the office and free coffee and Broker’s opens with huge food layouts of pizza n beer or sandwiches and champagne. (I had a tough life.)
I didn’t start gaining weight immediately but with a change in cravings from milk, eggs and toast (which I used to live on) to sugary tea or coffee with bear claws, oatmeal, cream-of-wheat (and anything else I could pile sugar into) I most definitely gained weight!

I was gaining 2 pounds a week in 2004 until I got onto a healthy diet. (See Bee at http://www.healingnaturallybybee.com )

I’ve been losing weight slowly but I still go crazy on the weekends, eating whatever. I get plenty of exercise working around the house and taking care of my chickens, etc. I think if I can get my cravings under control, I’ll be OK. ♥
I almost forgot to tell the most important cause of my trouble with weight. I was *very motivated* to stay on the diet to recover my health but once I had energy and was pain free and didn’t have any more emergency trips to the hospital, I slacked off a little bit.
Then the most horrible thing in my life occurred, my 27 year old son Mark died. I was devastated and immediately went off my diet some time after his memorial. It took me nearly 3 years to recover.
In the interim I developed painful knees. The doc said I’d have to have them replaced! So I managed to get back on the diet for some months until the pain went away and we went like this, my knees and me, on and off for those 3 years. When I thought I had recovered from my knees and Mark’s death, without warning, my eldest brother Norman died.

It took me over a year to get feeling better, all the while fighting to stay on my diet, and then my eldest sister died. I was crushed. We had just talked! She called me for my birthday and now she was gone. It hasn’t been a full year since Karen died. It was June 29 2012.
With each of these deaths, I had to fight to stay healthy. Because I knew, if I had kept eating healthy, instead of pigging out on ice cream and pie, I would have been stronger. Anyway, I thought I better tell my battle of the last 6 years. Peace, out.